Stop IT Mom!

I keep seeing on various social media web networking sites Single mothers posting the cutest pictures of their much-beloved children online. I admit some of these pictures are adorable, we give birth to some beautiful babies.  A mommy has every right to be proud of their children. Shoot we carry them nine whole months and go through sometimes hours of excruciating pain to bring them forth. (unless of course, you get the shot) And as joyous as  being a mom can be it is hard work. So yeah, you get bragging rights. 

But why the Hell do you put your Children on your public social networking sites? It's INSANE! Totally.  We talk about the safety of our children online and the turnaround and post pictures of them for any and all predators to get a good view. You put child safety apps on their phone and apps to monitor them on Facebook, Twitter,snap chat, Viber, etc but then you will post on a networking site, pictures of your personal good times with your children. What are you thinking? Or are you REALLY THINKING?  

The dating websites slay me. Why would you include pictures of your minor child on your dating site? Do you not know that there are men out there who target single mothers with children? There real live boogie men out there and they LIVE  on the Net. And please do not believe you can tell, because half the time you can't. They don't all come across as creepy or sleazy.  They are all shapes sizes, education levels and backgrounds. They can be fun, generous, so considerate, compassionate and oh so understanding of your challenges as a single MOM.  You get to comfortable and everybody is either in therapy or jail or both. 

Lessen your chances of picking up some real creep and take those pics down girls/boys it doesn't matter. take them down. Only share with family and very close friends, not friends of friends.

Predators troll the net. It is the New Market for everything especially child porn, even though your pictures may be fully clothed an innocent picture of swim trunks , or a bathing suit can be enticing to these degenerates. Protect yourself and your Babies, Don't advertise your children.

On Line Dating... Is It Worth It?

Here I am MZ PrissytPants with her opinion. right?   Lol. I was new to the on -line dating experience about 2 1/2 years ago.  Did not know what to expect or how much of myself to put out there what do you say? And is this really a thing only for losers? Well, to be honest, it is a real mix bag, and yes there are a whole lot of nuts.  (I'm gonna leave that lol).
I could say that you get  out of it what you put in but, I'm afraid that would not be quite accurate. What I have found is the majority of the individuals there are not quite what they seem, and most of what they post are exaggerations, or out and out lies. Some are kinda scary and most are just freaks. I have come across the rare breed that actually appears to be what they say they are and yet have some serious mental issues. It can be emotionally  disconcerting at times.
The things I have learned to watch for are  men who have been online for a number of years and never seem to leave.  The ones with more two baby mommas and have different children same ages with different women.  ( commitment issues) The ones who claim to co-parent  and baby momma toiletries are in the master bedroom bath, (still hanging on to a relationship). The ones who claim they want a serious relationship but don't understand that to have one you need to focus.
Truly it is a mixed situation you encounter and you have to be open and yet careful. And yes, from what I hear and understand men have the same issues. Both men and women have complained that they run into a lot of persons who are just there for multiple sexual partners. In theses times that is dangerous and irresponsible.  Don't expect too much honesty at first.
This is not to say there are no good men out there online a few really are. Some really do want that one Lady for his life. you just gonna have to go through a bunch a bunch of frogs first.

Online Dating : The Endless Supply Source

Online dating is the new up and coming way for people to meet. Whether it for professional networking purposes, or personal, it has become the modern way to meet and greet.  It can be a great tool and wonderful asset if used properly and under advisement. You can literally broaden your horizons thru the use of some of these sites. But, you must be very careful which sites you use . Some of them maybe better than others and I am unable to give an honest and objective critique on all of them as I have not experienced them all and I am pretty new to this. I have been curious as hell  about it though. I  had first considered it to be the last vanguard of the desperately lonely. And yet, I am finding it a lot more different than I once thought. So, I am mostly relying on the use of my common sense and maybe a little help from a few friends.

The choices are endless for both sides of the divide. All shapes, sizes, nationalities, blue collar, white collar, no collars, short, tall, real tall (I like those, wink wink) in between, intelligent, crazy as hell, fun, not so fun, sexy-sexy, just sexy, and not sexy at all. I could go on and on. Possibilities are endless, and there in lies the rub. Those endless possible choices.

How many do you date at a time? What should be your clue that it is safe to go meet this person? ( ladies, men worry about this as well, there are so really scary females out there). What are you expecting from that meeting and subsequent associations? Should you make a list of what you want from a relationship, or should you just ride it out and see how it develops? Or, should you have that discussion  before your first encounter or during? Decisions, decisions. You need to make them. Maybe not right away for some, but at some point you need to get real.

You may find yourself involved with a person who will seem to be confused by these endless possibilities. You will know them by the fact that if you should so happen to go back on the sites and they will be in those chat rooms, like an itch they can't scratch. You will get excuses, like the site hasn't deleted my account yet. Or, I was just checking my in box. ( the question for that would be why? if you have decided to be in a relationship). They will suddenly break dates without warning, likely at the last minute and will not be able/unwilling to understand your consternation and disappointment. More likely making you feel selfish for your lack of understanding. ( classic jeti mind trick).You may notice that in their phones they will have you and others listed by something than just your name. It may your age, occupation, or some other means to index you.  ( you are being categorized and filed, pay attention). You are one of many choices, which is ok to some extent. But, when will that person make the decision to settle for one, if this is what you are seeking. Be prepared to be over whelmed and also be prepared for online trawler.  More about That ONE on a later post.
My A D D is kicking in so I'll post some more later. right now I hear the ice cream truck...

Hidden Haters When You Are Dating

You would think that if you have been single for sometime your friends, family, and or acquaintances will be really happy to see you back into the "fray" , as they say, trying to  enjoy being grown and sexy.  But, careful, careful, things may not be as noble as they seem.

You may find that you want to share with a friend or family member your experiences while getting your feet wet again.  Hey, it's only natural to be excited and seek advice, or maybe just talk about that seemly exciting new person you are seeing. You are feeling good and maybe a little proud of yourself for coming out of the emotional fortress you may have built around yourself.  Hooray for you! Depending on your past that maybe a true challenge. Everyone does not bounce back the same from their past relationships. It feels good and you want to share. Nothing wrong with that. Isn't that what friends are for? Right? .... Maybe, Maybe not. 

I know i have experienced the really bad advice couched in , "I'm only looking out for you gurl". (Hand wave and eye roll included).  They will tell you how the man you just met should be kicking out you some money. Or, loaning you his car, and if he isn't taking you shopping and buying you $500.00 purses you are being short changed. They will advise you to go to his home and dig through his belongings, or try to check his cell phone.  All the things that if it were done to you, you would feel you have a starker on your hands. Believe me I had someone advise me to do all of these things.  My mental reaction was REALLY??? Nope, I see why you lonely.  No man you just met owes you anything. And if he spent his hard earned cash on every cute booty he sees and is trying to talk to, what's left for that Special Lady? Now I am Not saying do cheap, by no means. but don't be greedy and grasping. Telling you something like that is the "silent hater" move.  They want to see you fail in that relationship. 

The silent hater will be overly interested in the goings on in your relationship, and ready to critique every single detail you may impart. They want to know how much money he makes, where he lives, how many and what kind of car he drives and how often does he call. Looking for that chink in your seemly happy space.  Most often if you pay attention they are not happy themselves and the things in their life they are dissatisfied with they will project into your situation. Where you can make your mistake at is you will view them as a good friend, or your close relative, not thinking they are PEOPLE first and human. You can blind yourself with your own emotions. Doesn't mean they don't care for you, just means you may need to be circumspect on the details you may wish to impart. Know that a true friend will never critique anything with out trying to help you find a Positive resolution.

Remember, this is YOUR adventure, good or bad. You are going to kiss a few frogs before you find your Prince as they say.  But, those are your lips and your frogs as long as you are happy no one else's opinions matter. If you are fortunate enough to have awesome people you can share with it makes the excitement so much  more sweeter, but if you find a hater in your mist be HAPPY! After all you can't hate on nothing, so you must be doing something Right!

and u got the mz prissypants gold star! #sexyGMas

Shoppers Beware-on line Man Shopping

I just know there are a lot of women out here who are trying to re enter the dating arena.  And if you are anything like me, you are unsure of what the rules are these days. You may have been involved in a long term relationship, i.e.: marriage, partnership, Took a break from LIFE, etc.) and now you find yourself trying to RE define yourself.   And if you are past the 35 year mark you may feel a little out of depth.  It may seem that a lot of men in your age category are looking for the younger firmer set.  ( Not dissing you physically fit sisters either, I'm rather proud of my physical body myself and I'm still working.) You wonder who and what is out there for you. Some of you may have the confidence of the champions and you are in the mode of "They won't know what hit'em"  But, we all are out here looking, or desiring that certain some one just for you. This isn't going to be easy and there will be Frogs. And we must mention the men who seem to want to relive their "glory days" when they felt like  "Big Daddy" and all the women paused.  A little arrested development going on there. ( they can be really funny if you have a sense of humor) that is just a few of the "types" I have come across so far.

It can get hard and confusing most especially as a single parent. You must be careful of the people in your life as a rule any way. But if you are dating the are some rules you really should consider.

1. Do not be so quick to introduce people to your children. It can become confusing for them, most certainly when they are young,
2. Remember there are men and women who are predators. some actually date single parents because they have children.
3. Beware of anyone who seems overly interested in them. Some people can be a little too friendly.
4. And remember allowing  your children to become attached to someone you don't plan on having a long term relationships with can be painful fore them as well and can lead to abandonment issues.

I am a single Mom and those are some of the rules I try to use in this adventure I am undertaking. And so far it has been a Heck of a Ride I tell ya!  Boy do I have some Stories! LOL! so stay tuned. Mizz Polly Prissypants wants to SHARE!!!!