Online Dating : The Endless Supply Source

Online dating is the new up and coming way for people to meet. Whether it for professional networking purposes, or personal, it has become the modern way to meet and greet.  It can be a great tool and wonderful asset if used properly and under advisement. You can literally broaden your horizons thru the use of some of these sites. But, you must be very careful which sites you use . Some of them maybe better than others and I am unable to give an honest and objective critique on all of them as I have not experienced them all and I am pretty new to this. I have been curious as hell  about it though. I  had first considered it to be the last vanguard of the desperately lonely. And yet, I am finding it a lot more different than I once thought. So, I am mostly relying on the use of my common sense and maybe a little help from a few friends.

The choices are endless for both sides of the divide. All shapes, sizes, nationalities, blue collar, white collar, no collars, short, tall, real tall (I like those, wink wink) in between, intelligent, crazy as hell, fun, not so fun, sexy-sexy, just sexy, and not sexy at all. I could go on and on. Possibilities are endless, and there in lies the rub. Those endless possible choices.

How many do you date at a time? What should be your clue that it is safe to go meet this person? ( ladies, men worry about this as well, there are so really scary females out there). What are you expecting from that meeting and subsequent associations? Should you make a list of what you want from a relationship, or should you just ride it out and see how it develops? Or, should you have that discussion  before your first encounter or during? Decisions, decisions. You need to make them. Maybe not right away for some, but at some point you need to get real.

You may find yourself involved with a person who will seem to be confused by these endless possibilities. You will know them by the fact that if you should so happen to go back on the sites and they will be in those chat rooms, like an itch they can't scratch. You will get excuses, like the site hasn't deleted my account yet. Or, I was just checking my in box. ( the question for that would be why? if you have decided to be in a relationship). They will suddenly break dates without warning, likely at the last minute and will not be able/unwilling to understand your consternation and disappointment. More likely making you feel selfish for your lack of understanding. ( classic jeti mind trick).You may notice that in their phones they will have you and others listed by something than just your name. It may your age, occupation, or some other means to index you.  ( you are being categorized and filed, pay attention). You are one of many choices, which is ok to some extent. But, when will that person make the decision to settle for one, if this is what you are seeking. Be prepared to be over whelmed and also be prepared for online trawler.  More about That ONE on a later post.
My A D D is kicking in so I'll post some more later. right now I hear the ice cream truck...

Hidden Haters When You Are Dating

You would think that if you have been single for sometime your friends, family, and or acquaintances will be really happy to see you back into the "fray" , as they say, trying to  enjoy being grown and sexy.  But, careful, careful, things may not be as noble as they seem.

You may find that you want to share with a friend or family member your experiences while getting your feet wet again.  Hey, it's only natural to be excited and seek advice, or maybe just talk about that seemly exciting new person you are seeing. You are feeling good and maybe a little proud of yourself for coming out of the emotional fortress you may have built around yourself.  Hooray for you! Depending on your past that maybe a true challenge. Everyone does not bounce back the same from their past relationships. It feels good and you want to share. Nothing wrong with that. Isn't that what friends are for? Right? .... Maybe, Maybe not. 

I know i have experienced the really bad advice couched in , "I'm only looking out for you gurl". (Hand wave and eye roll included).  They will tell you how the man you just met should be kicking out you some money. Or, loaning you his car, and if he isn't taking you shopping and buying you $500.00 purses you are being short changed. They will advise you to go to his home and dig through his belongings, or try to check his cell phone.  All the things that if it were done to you, you would feel you have a starker on your hands. Believe me I had someone advise me to do all of these things.  My mental reaction was REALLY??? Nope, I see why you lonely.  No man you just met owes you anything. And if he spent his hard earned cash on every cute booty he sees and is trying to talk to, what's left for that Special Lady? Now I am Not saying do cheap, by no means. but don't be greedy and grasping. Telling you something like that is the "silent hater" move.  They want to see you fail in that relationship. 

The silent hater will be overly interested in the goings on in your relationship, and ready to critique every single detail you may impart. They want to know how much money he makes, where he lives, how many and what kind of car he drives and how often does he call. Looking for that chink in your seemly happy space.  Most often if you pay attention they are not happy themselves and the things in their life they are dissatisfied with they will project into your situation. Where you can make your mistake at is you will view them as a good friend, or your close relative, not thinking they are PEOPLE first and human. You can blind yourself with your own emotions. Doesn't mean they don't care for you, just means you may need to be circumspect on the details you may wish to impart. Know that a true friend will never critique anything with out trying to help you find a Positive resolution.

Remember, this is YOUR adventure, good or bad. You are going to kiss a few frogs before you find your Prince as they say.  But, those are your lips and your frogs as long as you are happy no one else's opinions matter. If you are fortunate enough to have awesome people you can share with it makes the excitement so much  more sweeter, but if you find a hater in your mist be HAPPY! After all you can't hate on nothing, so you must be doing something Right!

and u got the mz prissypants gold star! #sexyGMas

Shoppers Beware-on line Man Shopping

I just know there are a lot of women out here who are trying to re enter the dating arena.  And if you are anything like me, you are unsure of what the rules are these days. You may have been involved in a long term relationship, i.e.: marriage, partnership, Took a break from LIFE, etc.) and now you find yourself trying to RE define yourself.   And if you are past the 35 year mark you may feel a little out of depth.  It may seem that a lot of men in your age category are looking for the younger firmer set.  ( Not dissing you physically fit sisters either, I'm rather proud of my physical body myself and I'm still working.) You wonder who and what is out there for you. Some of you may have the confidence of the champions and you are in the mode of "They won't know what hit'em"  But, we all are out here looking, or desiring that certain some one just for you. This isn't going to be easy and there will be Frogs. And we must mention the men who seem to want to relive their "glory days" when they felt like  "Big Daddy" and all the women paused.  A little arrested development going on there. ( they can be really funny if you have a sense of humor) that is just a few of the "types" I have come across so far.

It can get hard and confusing most especially as a single parent. You must be careful of the people in your life as a rule any way. But if you are dating the are some rules you really should consider.

1. Do not be so quick to introduce people to your children. It can become confusing for them, most certainly when they are young,
2. Remember there are men and women who are predators. some actually date single parents because they have children.
3. Beware of anyone who seems overly interested in them. Some people can be a little too friendly.
4. And remember allowing  your children to become attached to someone you don't plan on having a long term relationships with can be painful fore them as well and can lead to abandonment issues.

I am a single Mom and those are some of the rules I try to use in this adventure I am undertaking. And so far it has been a Heck of a Ride I tell ya!  Boy do I have some Stories! LOL! so stay tuned. Mizz Polly Prissypants wants to SHARE!!!!