Hidden Haters When You Are Dating
You would think that if you have been single for sometime your friends, family, and or acquaintances will be really happy to see you back into the "fray" , as they say, trying to enjoy being grown and sexy. But, careful, careful, things may not be as noble as they seem.
You may find that you want to share with a friend or family member your experiences while getting your feet wet again. Hey, it's only natural to be excited and seek advice, or maybe just talk about that seemly exciting new person you are seeing. You are feeling good and maybe a little proud of yourself for coming out of the emotional fortress you may have built around yourself. Hooray for you! Depending on your past that maybe a true challenge. Everyone does not bounce back the same from their past relationships. It feels good and you want to share. Nothing wrong with that. Isn't that what friends are for? Right? .... Maybe, Maybe not.
I know i have experienced the really bad advice couched in , "I'm only looking out for you gurl". (Hand wave and eye roll included). They will tell you how the man you just met should be kicking out you some money. Or, loaning you his car, and if he isn't taking you shopping and buying you $500.00 purses you are being short changed. They will advise you to go to his home and dig through his belongings, or try to check his cell phone. All the things that if it were done to you, you would feel you have a starker on your hands. Believe me I had someone advise me to do all of these things. My mental reaction was REALLY??? Nope, I see why you lonely. No man you just met owes you anything. And if he spent his hard earned cash on every cute booty he sees and is trying to talk to, what's left for that Special Lady? Now I am Not saying do cheap, by no means. but don't be greedy and grasping. Telling you something like that is the "silent hater" move. They want to see you fail in that relationship.
The silent hater will be overly interested in the goings on in your relationship, and ready to critique every single detail you may impart. They want to know how much money he makes, where he lives, how many and what kind of car he drives and how often does he call. Looking for that chink in your seemly happy space. Most often if you pay attention they are not happy themselves and the things in their life they are dissatisfied with they will project into your situation. Where you can make your mistake at is you will view them as a good friend, or your close relative, not thinking they are PEOPLE first and human. You can blind yourself with your own emotions. Doesn't mean they don't care for you, just means you may need to be circumspect on the details you may wish to impart. Know that a true friend will never critique anything with out trying to help you find a Positive resolution.
Remember, this is YOUR adventure, good or bad. You are going to kiss a few frogs before you find your Prince as they say. But, those are your lips and your frogs as long as you are happy no one else's opinions matter. If you are fortunate enough to have awesome people you can share with it makes the excitement so much more sweeter, but if you find a hater in your mist be HAPPY! After all you can't hate on nothing, so you must be doing something Right!
and u got the mz prissypants gold star! #sexyGMas
The silent hater will be overly interested in the goings on in your relationship, and ready to critique every single detail you may impart. They want to know how much money he makes, where he lives, how many and what kind of car he drives and how often does he call. Looking for that chink in your seemly happy space. Most often if you pay attention they are not happy themselves and the things in their life they are dissatisfied with they will project into your situation. Where you can make your mistake at is you will view them as a good friend, or your close relative, not thinking they are PEOPLE first and human. You can blind yourself with your own emotions. Doesn't mean they don't care for you, just means you may need to be circumspect on the details you may wish to impart. Know that a true friend will never critique anything with out trying to help you find a Positive resolution.
Remember, this is YOUR adventure, good or bad. You are going to kiss a few frogs before you find your Prince as they say. But, those are your lips and your frogs as long as you are happy no one else's opinions matter. If you are fortunate enough to have awesome people you can share with it makes the excitement so much more sweeter, but if you find a hater in your mist be HAPPY! After all you can't hate on nothing, so you must be doing something Right!
and u got the mz prissypants gold star! #sexyGMas
No comments:
Post a Comment